Showtime Top 10...Reasons Madden NFL Football games suck!

Everyone has heard of EA's biggest money making sell out, Madden Football. It's the biggest NFL franchise game available. It even says so on the box.


Of course it does...it's the only fucking NFL game you can buy. You know what? I'm tired of forking over 50 bucks each year for the same damn game...Madden Football sucks and you suck for liking it. Before we begin, however, let me say this: I, by no means, am great at Madden. There's some sort of stupid God complex Madden gamers get...you're still just a loser playing a video game. You're no better then the douche bag playing Final Fantasy 8. This has nothing to do with my ability, or lack there of, to playing the game. With that out of the way, here's the top 10 reasons why...Madden blows.




#10 -







#9 - Because since 2004, they haven't made a game that has done anything besides pose as a fucking roster update. I'm not looking for a revolution in gaming, EA, I'm looking for a reason to give you my hard earned money. T.O.'s trade to the Bills...not cuttin' it.




#8 - Because even on the most high tech, next gen, consoles...Cover 2 and Cover 3 defenses still FAIL to defend the deep passes. Will the idiot DBs ever realize the whole purpose is to keep the play in front of them?




#7 - Man coverage contains just as much suck as zone...in fact, it's worse. Your CBs don't press anyway...they just get up to the line really close, then get beat on the wheel route. What's the point? It only works if the offense tries to go for a slant or post route...speaking of...




#6 - If the defense backs off, how is the middle of the field not open? It doesn't matter if you are passing with Peyton Manning, or Kevin NOPE Kolb, QBs in Madden have NEVER been able to throw accurate slant, posts, or even fade routes. These are run every week in football...how do they not work? What's the point of not doing anything but running the "Vick 2004" offense, and just run 20 yards behind the line, then bomb it.




#5 - Message to CBs and WRs...if the ball hits your hands, CATCH THE FUCKING THING!




#4 - With regards to the PS3 and Xbox360 versions...would it be too much to ask to back the fucking camera angle up so I can see the sidelines, and my outside WRs?




#3 - With regards to the Wii version...you can't throw a bullet pass online. Is that supposed to be a fucking joke?




#2 - More Wii version rants...I know it can't do HD graphics. But it CAN do better than what pathetic polygons were done in the '09 version. Oh...and in both versions, the presentation still blows; player intros (which the Wii doesn't even have) is not presentation. Some effort would be nice...sit back and takes some notes:








And the number 1 reason Madden Football absolutely sucks...



- Because I like fucking with stupid fanboys...that's why. Go pick up Tecmo Super Bowl. It is FAR superior.